Items More Epic Than Epics

I’m a pack rat. Don’t believe me? Have a look at my bags and bank.

Yeah, stuff of horrors for someone with OCD. I have been wandering around Azeroth doing various random stuff for quite some time. And every once in a while I come across an item that is a bit out of the ordinary which I decide to keep in my Storage of Endless Disorganization. Trinkets with weird on-use effects, snazzy tabards, elegant dresses (yes, I have a dress collection) or just items that were hard as hell to get.

And I am far from being the only one who likes these weirder items. I am willing to bet that right now your main has an item in his bags that is of no practical use to you but you still keep it just to entertain yourself and others when boredom kicks in. And if you don’t – well you should. Items that 1shot boredom, items that provide epic win, items that show the scrubs who’s leet.

So lets see whats what in the world of extraordinary itemization. I’ve grouped the items into 4 loose categories just so I could find anything in my bank in less than 5 minutes.

The Shapeshifters
A whole category of items that all allow you to change your appearance. From the usual suspects like Savory Deviate Delight and Noggenfogger Elixir to something a bit more exotic like the Orb of the Sin’dorei or or Carved Ogre Idol, these items are sure to liven up your guilds kill shots or to make you stand out amongst the parade of players parked in front of ICC gates. Some of these items are pretty hard to obtain but, damn, is it satisfying to pull out a form nobody else can match. A few other examples: Hallowed Wands, Orb of Deception, Super Simian Spehere, Iron Boot Flask, Dartol’s Rod of Transformation, Rituals of the New Moon and I’m sure there are many more.

The Minigames
Raid has been abruptly stopped because the raid leader just has to see the final of The Hills. We’ve all been there. There’s no progress and everybody is standing around being less productive than the government of [Insert name of own country]. Well what better way to alleviate the boredom with a battle of Steam Tonks or Crashin’ Trashin’ Racers. Or a snowball fight (extra points for having one while fighting Arthas). Have a Clockwork Rocket Bot tournament to see who is the ultimate Pokemon minipet trainer. These things can even liven up trash – killing trash is one thing, killing trash while all the tanks are trying to avoid getting hit by a Paper Zeppelin is a whole different game of skill and seriousnessness.

The What-The-Hell-Is-That
Alright so most of this item collecting is done to show off, I’ll admit it. Items that instantly make you the center of attention when brought out in a populated place. There are the items that will get you the occasional “lol” like Romantic Picnic Basket and then there are items that are sure to get the attention of everyone within 100 yard radius such as Vanquished Tentacle of C’Thun or, my favorite, Ectoplasmic Distiller. Nothing like an ominous soul-sucking glowy thing when you are just standing around in SW being bored.

The I-Have-Played-Waaaaay-Longer-Than-You
This is the category where my own Random Crap™ fall short. These are the items that have not been accessible for some time now and make you stand out like a unique old-schooler snowflake. Something not too flashy like the original Palomino mount or something a lot more flashy indeed like the Amani War Bear. Anything that says “I was raiding MC on release day and I won” is sure to get admiration from the lesser folk. My own personal favorite is the Haunted Memento – even though it’s not BoP, the number of people who underestimated the awesomeness of this item means nowadays it’s not that easy to obtain and makes me all the more proud to have had the weird ghosty thing with me since pre-WOTLK event.

In the end, all of these items are about giving your character something unique, to make you stand out from the crowd. But this comes at a price as you’ll be farming/questing/spending till no end all in the name of an item that doesn’t have +200 Strength or +900 Spell Power but sure has +9001 Awesomeness and +3.91e20 Uniqueness.


~ by Shale on July 23, 2010.

One Response to “Items More Epic Than Epics”

  1. I actually went through my bank a few days ago and I am surprised how many of those objects I seem to collect. I hope we get some more options for extra bankslots in Cata, just because of my packrat-behaviour.

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